Precious Thoughts

I come across this ad. I believe. And I chose to practice it.

I'm having a great headache. Most probably because of sleep deprivation and lack of rest and lack of fun and lack of weekends and lack of so many things. I don't think I need a break at the moment because at this point of time the hardship thrills me. I just finish my Evidence test this morning where on a shame point I missed my good friend solemnization ceremony this morning due to the test. The usual routine. Files to be submit. Trials to be attend. Cases to be read. Formal letter to be advise. And that just concluded everything. I wanted to commit to something else but I just can't right now. I haven't read any good books. Just recently my lecturer asked me upon seeing Sidney Sheldon's on my desk, "Who's reading Sidney Sheldon? You? You have time to read that?" I gave him a weak smile. No I don't have time to read that book. Any reading material which is non-legal related is not on top of my cherry right now. The b...

One fine day. "You shouldn't u know.." "Why not? Why is it so hard for u?" "I don't expect this, I mean us to happened.." "What actually happened? Is it wrong for it to happen..?" "I can't commit.." "Please tell me why..?!" "Because I can't trust myself when I'm with you.."

He gives another smile, tries to understand her side.  To show that he cares.  She's consumed with everything that's been going on. Preoccupied, she's afraid. He doesn't know what to say. So he prays; "Whatever happens, don't you let go of my hand."

"Akak, kenapa akak xletak gambar akak dekat Facebook?" tanya aku smbil makan coki2 org punya. "Xdelah Ummu.. Akak wajib jaga nama baik suami akak. Memang xsalah letak gmbr muka kita. Tapi bagi akak seorang perempuan muslimah dia tak expose diri dia sgt dekat org. Sesape je boleh view gambar akak. Itu semua termasuk dalam menjaga maruah. Tambah pulak akak dah bersuami tapi lelaki lain duk ralit menengok gambar akak. Itu kan dah defeat purpose kita sebagai wanita muslim Ummu." kata  firmate ku sambil sibuk mencari Criminal Procedure Code. "Oh….." coki2 yang daku makan terjatuh diatas lantai dan kemudian disapu oleh Senior partner ku yg tetibe rajin-bebeno-menyapu lantai. 1 - 0.

In my mind, I beat you to dust. And for what? The pain u gave me? The sorrows that you paint? The humiliation that you portrayed? The grief you penetrate? You, my dear, Are not on the right track. Your simple words just don’t move me.  ur minor.  I'm major. You have just run out of ammunition. You're shooting blanks now, you son of a gun.

"I'm always here." Once, you said to me when I'm in need. I hold on to those words when in fact your action was against it. Once. Twice. Thrice. Pointless. I should have hung my faith and wrap it for the ONE and only. but instead I'm giving it to you and you crush it.  Oi. Sedar diri. I'm an ant. You're the bully. That’s just what it is. End of story.